Prepare for a long entry

I imagine introductions are in order. My name's Harrison, and many friends call me Hark.  I'm overweight. I've been overweight nearly all my life, and fixed it a little bit. I used to be all the way up to 350 on my 5'8" frame, but eventually became a nice muscley 225 with diet and exercise. But lately with finishing a Master's Degree and working a really crappy job, I've started gaining weight again. I'm back up past 250, and my blood pressure and blood work are coming back as that of a fat guy. This is terrifying. All of my grandparents except one have died because of heart problems. My dad has had about 5 heart attacks, and has a ton of other problems related to being overweight. And guess which of my parents I take after for my body type? Time to fix this. I'm turning this sludgy, broken-down, beat up, busted seat cushion jalopy into a svelte, sexy, well-tuned machine. How? Diet and exercise of course! For the record there's no real way to lose weight in a healthy manner that doesn't take craploads of work. Liposuction gets rid of weight, but you usually end up a big ol' chubster again. Those lapband and other stomach-screwing up surgeries make you lose weight, sure. But then you can barely eat anything for the rest of your life. It destroys your ideas of portion control in the exact opposite direction that most Americans (I can't speak for other countries) have had theirs wrecked. "But Hark! I hate working hard at stuff! And I love food! Screw you man!" you say. Well then, young padawan, screw you too, buddy. Don't be attacking me because you're a lazy-ass. But if you're serious about losing weight, you'll join me on this journey towards enlightenment. 1) Make it fun. I found a DJ mix-guy who made techno remixes specifically for training for a 5k run. The beats per minute speed up and slow down in the commonly suggested timings of most "couch to 5k" training programs. I tried it for the first time today and nearly died. Not that it's a bad thing. Being so tired afterwards makes me realize how out of shape I am and how effective that this program will be. Find something you like. I like swing dancing, so I'm also going to up my dancing to be more of a workout. Good thing most of the women there are used to guys with sweat pouring off of them. 2) Keep yourself motivated. I have no idea how you can do it, I'm pretty lazy. I'll work out for a week being all "Hell yeah! I'm gonna go and get skinny and all the ladies will like me and I'll be getting a better job because I'm so skinny!" Then the next week, I'm all "You know what I should do? Bake a cake and see how much I can eat in one sitting". It's not very effective... So how am I keeping myself motivated? Tough Mudder. Tough Mudder is insane. Go on look it up (www.toughmudder.com ) I can wait. 10-12 miles of pain, agony, fear of death, mud... Supposedly they once had tasers involved with some barbed wire. No idea, never been there. Andy has been wanting to put a team together, because it's all about willpower really. Sure you need to be able to do some physical stuff, but you're not getting anywhere without the testicular fortitude to outrun a cannon or whatever they make you do. And you're not going to have that motivation without someone next to you screaming quotes from 300 and Karate Kid. I even tried making excuses: "I'm unfit to try it. I have no idea where the place is. I can't afford the registration". Andy is prepared for it: "You got 4 months nearly to train. I'll drive you." And most importantly, "I'll help you pay" Now anyone who knows me, knows I can't pass up free stuff. Or even a discount. Training has begun to be the Toughest Mudder that has ever mudded toughly.