Not Too Bad...

Two posts in a semester? Could be worse I guess. I need to get on Andy and Steven's case. Granted, the main reason I remembered to write something was being home sick from work and trying to delay doing any other chores.

As for me, Pilates has become less awkward and I've seen my flexibility improve greatly. I can downward dog like you wouldn't believe.  I've actually become  an acquaintance of the poor woman mentioned in the last post. We have friendly after class chats. Turns out she's hardcore into working out, so we might have to compare notes. And by compare notes I mean "have her motivate me to get off my ass more often"

This week also saw me signing up for a gym membership. While it's nice to have my campus gym open, it's usually busy when I have the time to get over there. This place is a new one that's open 24 hours and usually pretty quiet.  The place looks pretty snazzy so I'm very excited. Even better, Steven and his lady (another good friend of mine) go there too! So I'll have workout buddies! The gym's associated with the Spartan Race, so maybe there's sweet discounts to fuel my torturous marathon addiction.

Speaking of torturous races, another Tough Mudder has come and gone. I looked like this:

I take Tough Mudder to a whole new level.

It was more difficult than last year, partly because for a good 2 or 3 miles I was teamless. My first team was too cold to walk and I was not about to exhaust myself before the first half, so they went on without me. Then another team that wanted to recruit me before the race caught up with me and took me under their dirty wing. They're good people, those Dangleberries.

I'm not going to jinx myself by saying I'm excited about my workout class next semester and I'll definitely be losing weight, but I totally am. There's a Couch to 5k class! And as much as I hate running this will be perfect motivation for me. Theoretically, if I'm forced to run two days a week for class (and I imagine the homework will be to run the third day that's typical for those programs) I should lose something. You don't see many fat guys finishing marathons quickly...

So that's been me this semester, busy as heck but still working on my health. How've you been?

Still workin'

Man, paramedic training is tough! You guys remember school, right? How you'd cram for a test, spit out the answers, then promptly forget everything because you'd never need it again? I can't afford that luxury. if I forget something, people will die. (Or at least have a very bad time)

As for dieting, it's been pretty rough. I've been making new friends in sequence, and my instinct is to eat with them. I've always been a social eater, after all don't you make friends by "Breaking bread together"? Luckily, I spent way too much money, so I was forced to buy healthy groceries.

Pilates is very fun, albeit extremely awkward. As expected, I'm the only guy. I'm also about 7 years older than these pretty ladies wearing yoga pants. It's bittersweet, really. The instructor sometimes has us pair up to "critique our moves". So when she tells us to assume the downward dog position and "gently pull back on their hips until they feel the stretch" pretty  entertaining/mortifying/whyareyoumakingmedothistothispoorlady.  

Someone took a picture of me in class.

But I do feel like it's working, my core muscles are sore the next day. As for other workouts, I just recruited my Sequence buddies to workout with me in between classes. Maybe we can teach each other some tricks of the trade!

Burning Bridges

In this complete overhaul of my life you have to remove temptation. My sweet tooth is ridiculous and very difficult to control. It's even worse when I have a few drinks, because I have a tendency to drunk-bake. I'll wake up with my kitchen covered in cookies, cakes, or some other sweet delicacy. 

So how do you deal with something like that?

I stopped buying crap. Life as a poor college student makes buying food difficult. Do I have the time to cook this? Will it taste good? Is it nutritious? Usually a college student can only choose two of those. So I went to my (not-so) local Trader Joes. Turns out they have all sorts of hormone-free, chemical-free stuff that's even cheaper than Walmart (where I even get a discount). It's a little bit of a drive, but I save money in the long run and I'm helping my body. And then there's the rocking out to the classic rock station part...

As for what I eat on a daily basis: Breakfast is super bran flakes (with almond or coconut milk), oatmeal and honey, or a couple eggs. For lunch, I'll eat a can of sardines and some whole wheat crackers (I checked it's legit whole wheat) and sometimes a small dessert that's usually a greek yogurt with honey. Dinners are all over the place, but pretty much never fast food. And even if I do eat some fast food, it's a lot less than when I used to go out. A four-plate chinese-food buffet has become two plates. A five-dollar footlong with two cookies and soda has become a six-inch and an unsweet tea. I can't give up bread or sweet stuff like Andy. I've tried and I feel sick afterwards. But I can make sure that there's more fiber in what carbs I do eat and that I eat a lot less of those calorie-dense cake and ice cream.

I've already tackled the nutrition demon, now it's time to begin my fight against the dreaded exercise monster!

Annnnnd we're back.

Fair warning, I have no idea what to write about today. I just really feel the need to update. I also feel the need to explain myself with my lack of updates this semester. Life can really get in the way of things. An extremely close friend of mine died suddenly near the beginning of the semester, which knocked me out of pretty much everything for a few months. Then because of my inability to notice what was going on with my body, a kidney stone struck which required surgery. As a result, I had to work my butt off to make up the coursework I had missed. It made it really difficult to do much of anything outside of school.

As far as progress, I haven't "lost any weight". I know, I know. You're thinking about how I was supposed to be exercising so much that it was going to be easy to lose weight. While I haven't lost mass, I have slimmed down a few inches. For example, by stomach used to hang over my belt. Now it more... looms. Sounds sinister, right? It's smaller, but it easily serves as a reminder that I can gain weight if I fall off the wagon.

So how's this wagon going to keep on rolling? I present to you: The Plan. Three simple steps that will make my summer a game-changer.

• Eat less crap: I generally eat until I'm no longer hungry. But sometimes I'm really really hungry and devour a meal that is much too big for me. Eating more often will prevent me from getting so extremely hungry that my eyes are larger than my stomach. Eating smaller meals will also help shrink my stomach back to a reasonable size. If your stomach is smaller, you'll be full more quickly and eat less.
• This rule also includes me eating more "real food" instead of fast food or other heavily processed crud.  I'm going to try to avoid anything in a box or that is otherwise "unfresh".
• Run/walk: I really want to do the Tough Mudder again this year. I really want to do the Tough Mudder with a much better time this year. So I'm going to train the way I need to. I plan on walking or running six days a week. My running will be similar to the couch to 5k programs, but less controlled. I'm going to run curves, then walk the straight parts of the track near my house. Then work my way up to running a half track and walking a quarter. And so on.
• Lift a little: I plan on doing the running training 3 days a week (walking the other three). While on my "walk days" I plan on doing a little bit of weight lifting at home. Nothing too crazy, just trying to increase my strength and keep the blood flowing.

The Plan looks to be pretty effective in helping me obtain my goals, which will be covered in my next post.

Update from the field

It's been a little while since either Hark or I posted anything.  To be honest, we have good reasoning for it.  We've both been swarmed here lately with school, work, and problems outside of both of those things.

I've been having some issues lately with my gallbladder and I still don't know what the exact cause of the problem is.  Hark has been feeling under the weather as well.  If someone were to stack 12-16 credit hours per week, 20-40 hours of work, and (in my case) the responsibility of being a single parent on top of that, you would have a good look at our daily lives.

As far as I'm concerned, I've had to make some changes in the diet that won't agitate my gallbladder until I figure out what the problem is.  This has been especially hard because one of the foods that I've had to cut is bacon, and I love bacon more than any other food on this planet.  I've also refrained from doing any strength training for the time being as well, because my abdominal and dorsal muscles are put into SEVERE pain any time I overuse them.

Hopefully, I'll know more tomorrow.  I'm supposed to have an MRI to see if we can find out what the little bugger below my stomach is up to.  If it is a problem, I honestly hope they remove it so that I can get over it and go back to my old routines.

Don't worry though, friends.  We'll be back soon!

Are You Asking For a Challenge?!

Have you noticed the cruddy job market? I have. With a Master's in Public Health but no real experience outside of the classroom and my internship, it's even more difficult. Companies expect me to want to get paid for my education, which while nice is not what I expect. I realize that I have limited experience and only require an entry-level position and room to grow.

Now you're stopping me, "Hark, what's the deal? We're on a blog about being fat and how we don't want to be that anymore!"

To that I say: My career goals involve telling people to not be fat. If I can't practice what I preach, what does that say about myself and my ability to understand healthy lifestyles?

Also, another interesting career prospect, The United States Public Health Corps has a height/weight requirement. I imagine for similar reasons as outlined above. At my height, a person needs to weigh about 180 pounds. Considering I'm 246 (about I haven't weighed myself in a while, but I seem slimmer than when I weighed myself last), this can easily be achieved by the end of the year because of math.

52 weeks in a year X 1.5lbs a week = 78lbs lost

Considering my new classes of Weight Training, Walking for Weight Loss, and Fundamentals of Nutrition, I might even be able to get it done even more quickly. I've never put down a set goal for my weight, and I feel that this may help me achieve said goal more easily. I've never really held myself accountable for my health. Here's a set goal and timeline, and I'll give myself some sort of reward at the end. Every time I lose a pound, two dollars will go into a savings account. Barring financial crisis, this will be untouched until I hit my target.

So here's a challenge to my fellow Fatnicians: Determine a target weight for the next some amount of time. It can be six months, a year, or even at the end of your current diet. Put it down, make yourself accountable, plan a reward.

I've got to be trying to be fat...

If I'm not losing a ton of weight next semester.

I was all angry earlier today. You see, I've got so much schooling under my belt, that I don't really need to take extra classes on my way to be a paramedic. I've already shown I understand math, writing, and have those communication skills necessary to heal people. So when the professors of the required (and completely full) courses told me I couldn't be in their class I was aggravated. I don't want to waste my time with stupid English 101, Math 110, or retake basic Biology. Also, the way funding works, it would have been cheaper to be a full-time student than take only those three required courses. But taking really hard classes would wreck havoc on my GPA, and taking classes that were too easy would look lame on my transcript.

So I fixed it.

I knew I wanted to do some exercise for a class. One of my biggest motivators is to get a good grade, and my biggest weight losses have come about because of classes. Story time: My bachelor's program required students to know how to swim, and I happened to not be in class the day they tested people. So there I was, a pretty decent swimmer, learning how to blow bubbles in the shallow end of the pool. Coach said in order to pass the class you need to be able to swim for 15 minutes, and then tread water for 15 more. If we wanted an A, all we needed to do was swim for an hour, then come back the next day and tread water for an hour more. I ended up losing 30lbs that summer.

I registered for Weight Training, since Steven and Andy both suggested it helps out for weight loss. Then I thought, "Hey, I do want to make a career out of fixing childhood obesity! I should do something with that" So then I got my registration for Basics of Nutrition on.  I'm still a credit short of full-time. Poop. Ohhhh... you know what's worth one credit? A Phys-ed course. But taking a class that isn't during my Tues/Thurs schedule isn't going to be good for my work schedule. And I'm already doing weight lifting, I'll need to do cardio. Suddenly, the Way was shown unto me: "Walking for Weight Loss" right after Weight Training.

So I'm gonna have a class where I learn how to save people's lives, then a lunch break, learn how to save my own life, then a dinner break, and finish my day switch hitting between saving my life and those of others.

Screw you crappy scheduling, I win,
Hark

P.S. By losing!

P.P.S Losing weight that is. 'Cause that makes me a winner.

All Hail the Conquering Heroes!

People keep asking me what the Tough Mudder was like. Without trying to be a smartass, it was tough. It was one of the most physically exhausting things I have done in my life. I still can't say it was the toughest thing ever; there's been worse things in my life. And just like the stuff in my life, Tough Mudder was beat into submission as well. So here's a quick rundown of the things I learned, loved, and loathed.

I absolutely hated: Pretty much nothing about the Mudder. Except learning that some people didn't think I could do it and a few people who acted like it was no accomplishment. Guess what, my friends? It was. It's a very special individual who will sign up for a 12 mile obstacle course that involves ice-baths, fire-walking, and electric shocks. It's an even more special person who actually follows through on it.

I loved: The camaraderie. I haven't seen that many places where there was so much caring and concern for your fellow man. I can't count the number of times someone came up to me and smiled while asking if we needed assistance. Also, I loved Jasmine, the friendly quad-riding medic. I don't know where that angel-named-after-my-second-favorite-Disney-princess came from, but she was encouraging us every step of the way that last 6 miles. I'm not sure if she was made to follow us, but she wasn't forced to give us kind words and keep us in the game.

I got edumacated on...

1. I have got to get off my ass more. Run up hills, stretch, jumping jacks, anything. To be fair, most of the movement stuff never really made me lose my breath. But I could have been so much faster.
2. I still really need to work on my arm strength. Toward the end I didn't even try a couple obstacles because of the weakness in my arms. Granted, the cold was getting to them. But I likely wouldn't have been able to do them regardless of when they fit into the race.
3. I'm much more bad-ass than I let myself believe. 
4. Hypothermia. 

We finished last. But we finished last in something that most people wouldn't even try to finish. That's really saying something. It makes me wonder what else we might be missing if we don't try things outside our comfort zone.

Weigh-in

My friend, Steven (the Tough Mudder in training mentioned last post), brought me to the gym yesterday to show me some shoulder and chest workouts. With all the intravenous lines I've had as a kid, my upper body strength is severely lacking and it was getting very difficult. I like to think that my determination was proved yesterday and now one more person can see why I'm going to do Tough Mudder. I may not be the strongest, fastest, most athletic, or even the bravest. But I'm definitely the toughest, most headstrong, stubborn, and tenacious. Like Charlie B. Barkin, you can't keep a good dog down. Like the honey badger, I don't care and I take what I want.

Ahem. Yeah, got a little carried away there. Let me poorly attempt to segue. In this case, the taking was taking away my weight. And take it away I have! I'm down to 246.1 pounds! That's ten pounds! Go me!

SOIBICWABA*

*Stuff Of Interest But I Can't Write A Bunch About (Pronounced "Soy-bick-waba")

-I walked 3.3 miles yesterday between classes. It helps that the building my main classes are in and the building my other class is in are separated by the entire campus. Also, I was really bored waiting for the next class which resulted in an aimless meandering. My legs are sore and I'm proud I effectively used my time.

-Since I consider myself a Taoist, and think they have some interesting (and some useful) medical theories, I'm very interested in starting to learn Tai Chi. I'm only doing preliminary research on the subject, and will keep you updated. The slow and deliberate movements are supposed to be very good for weight loss and flexibility.

-I'm down a pants size (sorta)! The store was out of swim trunks, so I decided to just get a pair of basketball shorts and improvise. I've always been at least an XL, in pretty much anything you were trying to size. Well imagine my surprise when I grabbed the regular purple hanger and noticed it was a little too large for me! That's right, good old Hark graduated down to a yellow L! I'm pretty excited to see some measurable change in my body!

-A good buddy of mine and fellow Tough Mudder Trainer, Steven, demonstrated how to cook an extremely healthy meal yesterday. I've always known how to cook this, but it never dawned on me how healthy it really was! Cook up some brown rice (it's healthier than white and twice as delicious!). Sprinkle some oil in a frying pan (I like olive) and toss some bite-size chicken chunks in there once it gets hot. Add a dash of sauce (he used terryaki and sriracha) and cook it until almost done. Toss in some broccoli and a little bit more sauce, then cover. Let all that flavorful food nuggets steam up together for about 5-10 minutes. When the broccoli gets to your liking, take it out. Scoop it onto a serving of rice and put it in your mouth! Super cheap, super healthy, super fast!

-Now a question, which you can answer in these comments or facebook comments: What sort of stuff do you guys want to see us discuss? More on supplements? Workouts? Healthy fooding?

How to lay about without being a layabout.

And.... he's back! Sorry for the delay in posting folks, I've been pretty busy with some minor surgery on my chest. Luckily, I've had experience with avoiding these muscle groups before, so I didn't just sit on my bum all day and wish I was exercising. 

I sat on my bum all day and exercised.

I ended up finding a pedal machine, which is like a more portable stationary bike, for ridiculously cheap. These things are foldable, and pretty low-cost. I can't recommend them enough for people with small apartments or a lack of storage space.

I've already got pretty strong legs, so this wasn't much of a workout. But it's a good way to burn more calories when you're on the couch playing videogames or watching a movie. 

Another good way to burn those calories while you're being a lazy bum is a fitness ball.

Yep, one of those. I know some of you manly men are saying, "I don't want none of that namby-pamby yoga crap!" To which I say, "Fine then. Don't buy a cheap way to lose weight and is actually kind of fun. Also, quit being a jerk and nay-saying everything." Studies are starting to show just sitting on these guys isn't much different from sitting in a chair. But there's a huge difference when you do small repeated movements on one of these instead of lounging on the couch. I usually swing my hips in a small circle or bounce slightly while on the ball. You might actually find your core a little sore the next day if you've been really working at it.

Now I'm starting to wonder if I can combine the two into one exercise. If I don't make it back, tell Andy I love him.

To the Naysayers

My brother says I can't do it.

That I won't even be able to attempt the Tough Mudder. He says "That's the kind of stuff I would do. Not you."

My guess is some background is in order. My brother and I are like night and day. He's all about machines, motorcycles, rock climbing, stuff you normally see macho, tough guys doing. I've always been much more content reading a book, cooking, hiking, Renaissance Man kind of things. He was the wild kid, and I was the good one.

Things started changing. He laughed when I pierced my ears, because "I was trying to be cool like him". Then I got a tattoo and he was shocked. He should have been the first to get tattooed, after all he was the crazy one. Now my body has tons of tattoos and his is still bare. (And I'm planning on taking advantage of the "Get a Tough Mudder tattoo for cheap and into next year's competition for free" plan) 

So when I proudly told him I signed up for Tough Mudder, he laughed. "Do you even know what it is? They have that around here and there's no way you can do it!" My reply was, "Bull. You have no idea what I can do. I've always been a hell of a lot more stubborn than you, and this is happening."

"Alright, we'll see"

We'll see indeed. Maybe I won't be able to do some of the obstacles. I've never been good at pullups or pushups. But you know what I am good at? Being tough as hell. Being stubborn as hell. Being supportive of my friends when times are difficult. So not only will I do this, but so will Andy. We're going to be glorious.

You'll see.

Prepare for a long entry

I imagine introductions are in order. My name's Harrison, and many friends call me Hark.  I'm overweight. I've been overweight nearly all my life, and fixed it a little bit. I used to be all the way up to 350 on my 5'8" frame, but eventually became a nice muscley 225 with diet and exercise. But lately with finishing a Master's Degree and working a really crappy job, I've started gaining weight again. I'm back up past 250, and my blood pressure and blood work are coming back as that of a fat guy. This is terrifying. All of my grandparents except one have died because of heart problems. My dad has had about 5 heart attacks, and has a ton of other problems related to being overweight. And guess which of my parents I take after for my body type? Time to fix this. I'm turning this sludgy, broken-down, beat up, busted seat cushion jalopy into a svelte, sexy, well-tuned machine. How? Diet and exercise of course! For the record there's no real way to lose weight in a healthy manner that doesn't take craploads of work. Liposuction gets rid of weight, but you usually end up a big ol' chubster again. Those lapband and other stomach-screwing up surgeries make you lose weight, sure. But then you can barely eat anything for the rest of your life. It destroys your ideas of portion control in the exact opposite direction that most Americans (I can't speak for other countries) have had theirs wrecked. "But Hark! I hate working hard at stuff! And I love food! Screw you man!" you say. Well then, young padawan, screw you too, buddy. Don't be attacking me because you're a lazy-ass. But if you're serious about losing weight, you'll join me on this journey towards enlightenment. 1) Make it fun. I found a DJ mix-guy who made techno remixes specifically for training for a 5k run. The beats per minute speed up and slow down in the commonly suggested timings of most "couch to 5k" training programs. I tried it for the first time today and nearly died. Not that it's a bad thing. Being so tired afterwards makes me realize how out of shape I am and how effective that this program will be. Find something you like. I like swing dancing, so I'm also going to up my dancing to be more of a workout. Good thing most of the women there are used to guys with sweat pouring off of them. 2) Keep yourself motivated. I have no idea how you can do it, I'm pretty lazy. I'll work out for a week being all "Hell yeah! I'm gonna go and get skinny and all the ladies will like me and I'll be getting a better job because I'm so skinny!" Then the next week, I'm all "You know what I should do? Bake a cake and see how much I can eat in one sitting". It's not very effective... So how am I keeping myself motivated? Tough Mudder. Tough Mudder is insane. Go on look it up (www.toughmudder.com ) I can wait. 10-12 miles of pain, agony, fear of death, mud... Supposedly they once had tasers involved with some barbed wire. No idea, never been there. Andy has been wanting to put a team together, because it's all about willpower really. Sure you need to be able to do some physical stuff, but you're not getting anywhere without the testicular fortitude to outrun a cannon or whatever they make you do. And you're not going to have that motivation without someone next to you screaming quotes from 300 and Karate Kid. I even tried making excuses: "I'm unfit to try it. I have no idea where the place is. I can't afford the registration". Andy is prepared for it: "You got 4 months nearly to train. I'll drive you." And most importantly, "I'll help you pay" Now anyone who knows me, knows I can't pass up free stuff. Or even a discount. Training has begun to be the Toughest Mudder that has ever mudded toughly.

What's this? A new Fatnician?

Ladies... and gentlemen, say hello to our newest Fatnician.  This handsome devil's name is Harrison.  He's not in the same boat as me when it comes to weight-loss (i.e. not as much to lose), but he's been rowing along side of me for a while now and he's ready to tell his tale.

Help me give a warm welcome to our newest author on the blog.  He means to kick butt, take names, and get this blog back to where it used to be!  Stick around, because it's about to get interesting!